I was reading Chovos Halevavos, Shaar Habechina. I used to learn every night, then I slacked off. A day or 2 ago I was bored and decided to read. I had a bookmark so I started from there. Amazingly, as I am in my ninth month right now (maybe 10th technically) it was talking about the chesed that hashem does for an unborn child. I read all through the thoughts on the chesed that hashem does for a child when it is born and as it grows. The author mentions that hashem makes the parents love the child even as it does not appreciate all that the parents do for it.
Before I became a parent, I had all the patience in the world for children. Recently I babysat for a friend's child, as a favor, and the day couldn't end soon enough. Even more recently, I had another friend over for a shabbos meal with their children, and sometimes I almost felt like slapping them. I couldn't believe these people had the patience for their own children, but then I realized that hashem gives each parent the children for them. Neither of these friends feel that they have hard children. They both love their children and have tons of patience for them. I love my daughter, and i can't say I always have all the patience in the world for her, but I usually do, and if I don't, then I just let her play or hand her over to my husband. If I had either of these people's children, I would snap. My own daughter is perfect for me. That is the chesed that hashem does. He gives each parent the perfect child for them, the same way he gives each person the perfect spouse for them and the perfect tests for them. Even if a child seems a clash to the parent, he really isn't. He is the child that the parent can best handle.
I will try to edit this once my writing improves.
