time, kfitzas haderech and lines

I was thinking about time, kfitzas haderech, and lines. Heres what I think happens. could be right, could be wrong, but this is my brain process. I think the time line is like the line. Time means nothing to hashem, the same way a line of numbers means nothing to me. I can add seven or subtract three at my whim. The line is all spread out in front of me, and I can do whatever I want with it. That’s how the world is for hashem. He can be in the 2nd century and the 20th century at the same time. If you make a mistake, and you would have had 600 decendents, but you marry a jerk and get divorced without any kids, instead of marrying the really amazing sweet but short guy you were meant to marry, and then you continue to be shallow, so you never end up marrying him, so you never end up having kids, then hashem can make it so that was never supposed to happen in the way future. Each of our lives has many paths they can take, and all the paths ultimately lead to the same spot, but if we make a wrong decision, that hashem makes it as if that is the right decision and that’s how the rest of the world works out. That is why I think that if time travel is possible physically, it will work. If we go back in time and mess things around, it will turn out that is how things were supposed to do. Maybe that is what teshuva is. Its time travel for the sole. You make it as if the sin never happened. That’s how kfitzas haderech works. You get bumped along that line quicker that it should take. Cause time means nothing by hashem, so he can do whatever he wants with it.

Children

I was reading Chovos Halevavos, Shaar Habechina. I used to learn every night, then I slacked off. A day or 2 ago I was bored and decided to read. I had a bookmark so I started from there. Amazingly, as I am in my ninth month right now (maybe 10th technically) it was talking about the chesed that hashem does for an unborn child. I read all through the thoughts on the chesed that hashem does for a child when it is born and as it grows. The author mentions that hashem makes the parents love the child even as it does not appreciate all that the parents do for it.

Before I became a parent, I had all the patience in the world for children. Recently I babysat for a friend's child, as a favor, and the day couldn't end soon enough. Even more recently, I had another friend over for a shabbos meal with their children, and sometimes I almost felt like slapping them. I couldn't believe these people had the patience for their own children, but then I realized that hashem gives each parent the children for them. Neither of these friends feel that they have hard children. They both love their children and have tons of patience for them. I love my daughter, and i can't say I always have all the patience in the world for her, but I usually do, and if I don't, then I just let her play or hand her over to my husband. If I had either of these people's children, I would snap. My own daughter is perfect for me. That is the chesed that hashem does. He gives each parent the perfect child for them, the same way he gives each person the perfect spouse for them and the perfect tests for them. Even if a child seems a clash to the parent, he really isn't. He is the child that the parent can best handle.

I will try to edit this once my writing improves.